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Obviously we all know that, but it bears constant repeating. Seriously: respect. What can you do, penis? And we all know that's the measurement that matters.

And, truly, is there anything more juvenile than a good dick joke? These dick jokes, puns, and one-liners are just the tip of the laughter iceberg. Bringing the male membrane into a gag is always hilarious. Now that all the puns are out of the way, enjoy these hilarious, perfectly raunchy dick jokes.